Artist: S.G. Swain

Submitted by Annie.

Viewed 57 times.

Witness (Ballad of Warren Grubber)

Well, I used to be a Jerhovah's Witness
preachin' door to door everyday
with my New World Translation
and a bag full of books
hustlin' them Watchto'ers and Awakes.

Yeah, I used to be a Jerhovah's Witness
from the time when I was just a little kid
My moma taught it to me
and I tried earnestly
to do everything that they said.

I had no friends, I had no lovers
I had my hands underneath the covers
I was waitin' for Armageddon to proceed
Them folks have been waitin' since 1914.

Well, I used to be a Jerhovah's Witness
Preachin' door to door everyday
with my hair cut real short
out on your front porch
trying to save you from Babylon the Great.

Yeah, I used to be a Jerhovah's Witness
the biggest nerd that you ever saw
until the day that I snapped
I came unwrapped
And I burned down the Kingdom Hall

Well I stood there and I watched it burning
And it kinda made me a little bit glad
So I went and I bought myself a birthday present
And on the way home I saluted a flag

Yeah, I used to be a Jerhovah's Witness
but now I'm just an average man
a little screwed in the head
from the childhood I led
but I'm trying to do the best that I can

So Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday
I pledge allegence, oh say can you see
I know it all sounds a little bit confusin'
But if I'm ever in a car wreck,
I'm gonna get a blood transfusion.

Yeah, I used to be a Jerhovah's Witness
preachin' door to door everyday
with my New World Translation
and a bag full of books
hustlin' them Watchto'ers and Awakes.

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Other Songs by this Artist

1. (Not The) National Anthem
2. All You Need
3. Ballad Of Nickel Joe (C.S.A.)
4. Better Never Than Late
5. Boulevard Lady
6. Buy Me Things
7. Cowboys Make Me Sick
8. Cuttin’ Russell’s Grass
9. Dallas Day Afternoon
10. Darlin’ Do You Think Of Me?
11. Dear Michael
12. Elvis Was An Idiot
13. High On Heaven
14. Human Race
15. In A Hundred Years
16. Jamie Lee Curtis
17. Look At Me
18. Marin County Backyard Barbecue
19. Mystery Woman
20. Old Fashioned $2 Haircut
21. Poor Baby
22. Say When
23. Scarecrow
24. Soldier
25. The Carson Show
26. To Be Loved
27. Vichyssoise
28. When I Die
29. Witness (Ballad of Warren Grubber)